Morning, Blood again! Streaks or spots I dunno how to describe it but enough to stain my underwear! As though my first day of period!
Blood is bright red though..
I was so upset, i did not know what to do.. I called Damansara Specialist and made appointment with the DR. However, she's still on leave until Thursday.. Have to wait till Thursday... :(
While showering, I thought about Dr. Ravi Chandran from Gleneagles, he was recommended to me previously, but because of the distance, we picked Damansara Specialist.. (but the hospital is so run down, UH is way much better condition) Anyhow, i decided to call Dr. Ravi's clinic.. told the lady, i'm 5 weeks pregnant and i'm bleeding.. and she said COME IN NOW! (i felt so much at ease), told my hubs to get ready and we rushed to the hospital..
Arrived just on time, 11.30am.. took about 30mins drive.. there's a reception at the lobby, where there's 3 counters to get your GL.. press for number and wait.. they were very fast, however, she told me i needed a referral letter to see the DR. Explained to her for Paeds and Gynae we don't need to, she called Micare, and it's true, she processed for me and i'm IN! WOO HOO! Gleneagles!
ROOM 203, Dr. Ravi's clinic.. it's a building consist of many doors and the doors lead us to different individual Doctors. Went in and the lady immediately took my weight, and asked me a few questions about my bleeding, we waited for our turn... there was maybe 3 people in line.. when it was our turn, Dr. Ravi made us feel relieve.. I don't know how to describe the feeling.. warmth and full of love. He shook our hands and welcome us in, took my BP, he said it was normal while Damansara Specialist say It's very low.. He ask PLENTY OF THE RIGHT QUESTIONS, family history, illness, IUI, reason doing it, where, etc etc etc.. 10 minutes with him and i think he knows us inside out.
THEN... he got a duty call, someone is in LABOUR! he had to rush off to deliver a baby and said he needs to see me but give him 30minutes and he'll be back, ask us to go down for lunch..
Food at Gleneagles is not nice.. expensive.. i had Chicken rice, Hubs had... Nasi goreng..
Anyway, when it was our turn AGAIN, he did an ultrasound... and ask us.. is this your first time doing this... we told him we've done it last week.. he asked, what did we see.. and we said we saw this lor.. then he asked again, NO, what did you SEE! ermmm... we said WE SAW THIS! pointed at the screen, THIS PEANUT, THIS THING here... hmm.. and we said, she just scan and showed us this and said everything looks fine and thats it!
I guessed it was a wrong answer. :P
he then zoom in, and we saw many things.. what we thought was the peanut was actually the sac.. and when he zoom in.. we saw the DOT.. the embryo.. then he explain this is the food sac.. etc etc.. he went on about it.. and we then realised.. OH... we didn't see anything previously!!
Oh and he showed us some black spots in my womb that's causing the spotting.. so he said let's hope it all disappears and not expand.
OH.. and he printed for my our scans. LOVELY.
He took 3 mini bottles of blood from me, gave me HCG jap, and took urine test too.
After our REAL first pre-natal consultation.. Hubs immediately decided, GLENEAGLES it is.. he doesn't mind the distance for the quality.
AWE-SOME. -_-
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Monday - 26th December 2011
Slight spotting .. Each time I pee I see a drop of blood in my pee.. Not enough to colour the whole bowl red compared to yesterday.. But enough to make me upset..
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Sunday Xmas day red present from our future junior!
Great way to kill our X'mas mood! I saw blood!
Rushed to Damansara specialist and as it was Xmas only the gp was around. He knows nothing about pregnancy and conceiving that he was some what insensitive regarding our situation, it's our first time pregnancy and bleeding..
He asked why are you taking Duphaston, Is it not your first time, etc.. i didn't get his question, and we had to explain to him we did IUI that's why fertility Dr gave me Duphaston, then he asked, how long have you both been trying, our answered, 1 year, and he said ONLY 1 year and you're so impatient, and you went and do an IUI! (OMG i wanna slap him) he went on and on and on... ARGH!!
Had such a bad experience with him and the whole hospital... He called our Gynae+OB, and it went to voice message, he said Oh, she shouldn't off her hp.. and immediately i thought.. that's it... NO MORE Damansara Specialist.. But Dr Gynae+OB called back.. and said nothing can be done, just give her an injection and ask her to rest at home.
So... next thing was.. he gave instructions to the nurse.. and we waited outside for my name to be called again... and went into the emergency ward area, and got a jap on my butt! OUCH. it was slow and painful.. she claims it's because it's very thick that she needs to inject it slowly.
Sighs.
Rushed to Damansara specialist and as it was Xmas only the gp was around. He knows nothing about pregnancy and conceiving that he was some what insensitive regarding our situation, it's our first time pregnancy and bleeding..
He asked why are you taking Duphaston, Is it not your first time, etc.. i didn't get his question, and we had to explain to him we did IUI that's why fertility Dr gave me Duphaston, then he asked, how long have you both been trying, our answered, 1 year, and he said ONLY 1 year and you're so impatient, and you went and do an IUI! (OMG i wanna slap him) he went on and on and on... ARGH!!
Had such a bad experience with him and the whole hospital... He called our Gynae+OB, and it went to voice message, he said Oh, she shouldn't off her hp.. and immediately i thought.. that's it... NO MORE Damansara Specialist.. But Dr Gynae+OB called back.. and said nothing can be done, just give her an injection and ask her to rest at home.
So... next thing was.. he gave instructions to the nurse.. and we waited outside for my name to be called again... and went into the emergency ward area, and got a jap on my butt! OUCH. it was slow and painful.. she claims it's because it's very thick that she needs to inject it slowly.
Sighs.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
My first pre-natal appointment at Damansara Specialist
Clinics here closed for lunch! But anyway, because it's our first time here, we came super early.. About 12.40pm.. Because our medical is covered by hubs company.. We need to get GL etc.. Walked to information counter.. Asked me to go to clinic and to the last door to get gl letter.. Walked towards the pointed direction.. Walked in and lady said walk to the last door.. We walked into that wooden door that says credit office.. And man took my medical card and ask us to wait.. Awhile later.. Lady came out from wooden door to say you need to go to clinic first to register then they provide a letter with that letter u come to this office again.. Walked to the clinic.. It was closed!
Now we're waiting till 2pm..
Dr. S.H's clinic, we registered, and waited for our turn.. .. when we saw the Dr. She asked a few questions, like when is your First day of your Last period.. told her about the IUI, she asked where, Oh she asked who recommended you here, and then... asked me to go up and did the ultrasound scan... she scanned and said everything looks okay... told us to come in 2 weeks later, to check for heart beat.. said if there's no heart beat there will be lots of blood.. and it's ugly.. ETC.. yes she just frighten my hubs.
Showed us a book, and a picture that looks like our peanut, and said, you are now at 5 weeks, like this. Ask her if she's going to print for us the scan, she said we don't print it till much later in the pregnancy.. -_-
nothing to show the family...
She told me, you are only allowed to gain 10-12kg, anything more is going to be a difficult labor... and told me, no ginseng, no pineapple, no papaya..
That's it. No asking to check weight, no urine test, no bp check.
Now we're waiting till 2pm..
Dr. S.H's clinic, we registered, and waited for our turn.. .. when we saw the Dr. She asked a few questions, like when is your First day of your Last period.. told her about the IUI, she asked where, Oh she asked who recommended you here, and then... asked me to go up and did the ultrasound scan... she scanned and said everything looks okay... told us to come in 2 weeks later, to check for heart beat.. said if there's no heart beat there will be lots of blood.. and it's ugly.. ETC.. yes she just frighten my hubs.
Showed us a book, and a picture that looks like our peanut, and said, you are now at 5 weeks, like this. Ask her if she's going to print for us the scan, she said we don't print it till much later in the pregnancy.. -_-
nothing to show the family...
She told me, you are only allowed to gain 10-12kg, anything more is going to be a difficult labor... and told me, no ginseng, no pineapple, no papaya..
That's it. No asking to check weight, no urine test, no bp check.
Monday, December 19, 2011
5-6 weeks pregnant
This thursday i'll be 6th weeks, and i made my first pre-natal doctor's appointment.. lucky with my hubs company insurance we don't have to worry about doctor's fees and hospitals fees.. it's all taken care off.
After much research, i picked Damansara Specialist Hospital, it's near my house and office. I saw their photos on the hospital's website, and saw the male's doctor face.. they somehow don't look friendly.. so i picked Dr. Susanna Huam. Her clinic is closed on Wednesdays and Sundays. My appointment is on Thursday.. after i made the appointment.. i was thinking.. why did i made it 1 week later.. i'm so worried now, because Dr P's clinic said, make your appointment when you're on your 7th week. But when i called DSH Dr Susanna's clinic, the nurse said i can come in anytime already, to check if it's ectopic or normal pregnancy. My goodness, she just had to put such things into my head.. now i've been worrying for the whole week. Hoping it's all okay!
this week my taste buds beginning to change. I somehow no longer like my favourite chee cheong fun. :( it taste awful! i had keow teow soup filled with porky stuffs, and it was too strong for me!!
i'm so hungry now typing this blog. and i don't know what to eat. Oh yah, hubs boiled or steam PURE chicken essence for me last night. I had to eat today.. it taste awful and i couldn't finish it. WANNA PUKE eating it. kept it in the freezer now. will save it for later. :)
OH yesterday, i had a dream i was eating the most delicious chicken! i think it's Oportos, or ayam masak merah, or ayam percik! i woke up telling my hubs.. i want PERCIK!.. after eating it.. nope it was percik that i want. Now i'm on the quest to search for this yummy chicken from my dream!
AND i've been craving for deep fried abalone mushroom.
i still get some lower abdomen pain, some smelly yellow or brown discharge.. o_O
After much research, i picked Damansara Specialist Hospital, it's near my house and office. I saw their photos on the hospital's website, and saw the male's doctor face.. they somehow don't look friendly.. so i picked Dr. Susanna Huam. Her clinic is closed on Wednesdays and Sundays. My appointment is on Thursday.. after i made the appointment.. i was thinking.. why did i made it 1 week later.. i'm so worried now, because Dr P's clinic said, make your appointment when you're on your 7th week. But when i called DSH Dr Susanna's clinic, the nurse said i can come in anytime already, to check if it's ectopic or normal pregnancy. My goodness, she just had to put such things into my head.. now i've been worrying for the whole week. Hoping it's all okay!
this week my taste buds beginning to change. I somehow no longer like my favourite chee cheong fun. :( it taste awful! i had keow teow soup filled with porky stuffs, and it was too strong for me!!
i'm so hungry now typing this blog. and i don't know what to eat. Oh yah, hubs boiled or steam PURE chicken essence for me last night. I had to eat today.. it taste awful and i couldn't finish it. WANNA PUKE eating it. kept it in the freezer now. will save it for later. :)
OH yesterday, i had a dream i was eating the most delicious chicken! i think it's Oportos, or ayam masak merah, or ayam percik! i woke up telling my hubs.. i want PERCIK!.. after eating it.. nope it was percik that i want. Now i'm on the quest to search for this yummy chicken from my dream!
AND i've been craving for deep fried abalone mushroom.
i still get some lower abdomen pain, some smelly yellow or brown discharge.. o_O
4 weeks- 5 weeks pregnancy symptoms
Everyday I feel as though my pee is smelly, and have smelly cervical discharge.. Need to tell the doctor that.
I don't feel as hungry as I should be, not yet I guess. Just not able to skip meals as before.. My stomach will be so pain if I do.. And then gastric.. And feel sick.. But as long as I eat on time I'm okay.
I'm napping more. I read a bit and I can doze off for 1-2 hours. And still fall asleep at night.. But I don't think I'm sleeping well.. My sleeping pattern has changed.. Usually I can easily sleep for more than 8 hours on weekends.. Last Sunday I told hubs. Please don't wake me up for breakfast! I wanna sleep in! Guess what! I woke up before him! So wide awake, we went for breakfast with the family!
I've been waking up to his 6am alarm clock and end up wide awake - wake my hubs for work.. And I go back to sleep!
I dream almost every night!
My boobs sore and so is my nipples! Today the seat belt accidentally rubbed against it! Ouch!
I'm taking my folic acid and doctor gave me the duphaston to continue.. 2 boxes. RM120
I don't feel as hungry as I should be, not yet I guess. Just not able to skip meals as before.. My stomach will be so pain if I do.. And then gastric.. And feel sick.. But as long as I eat on time I'm okay.
I'm napping more. I read a bit and I can doze off for 1-2 hours. And still fall asleep at night.. But I don't think I'm sleeping well.. My sleeping pattern has changed.. Usually I can easily sleep for more than 8 hours on weekends.. Last Sunday I told hubs. Please don't wake me up for breakfast! I wanna sleep in! Guess what! I woke up before him! So wide awake, we went for breakfast with the family!
I've been waking up to his 6am alarm clock and end up wide awake - wake my hubs for work.. And I go back to sleep!
I dream almost every night!
My boobs sore and so is my nipples! Today the seat belt accidentally rubbed against it! Ouch!
I'm taking my folic acid and doctor gave me the duphaston to continue.. 2 boxes. RM120
2ww - it's the final countdown !!
My 2 weeks wait is over!! I open my eyes this morning. I barely had a good night sleep for the passed few nights.. One of the night I was crying in my sleep and my husband saw and cuddle me and I did not remember a single thing! Have been tossing and turning... My eyes are closed but my brain is awake.
Every morning i call out the day... Thursday! I said to myself ... the whole night I expect to see some blood... Woke up and check.. No signs of period yet! I thought should I wait till Friday .. at least to make sure i missed a day of period.. through my experience, i checked in the morning and it was negative and my period came late afternoon.. such a bummer.
So i did not check at all..... every now and then i went to the toilet to check if i had my period.. BUT NO.. still crystal clear. :P
Night came... and still no period.. i read a couple of articles says i can test anytime in the day, since i bought clearblue pregnancy test, it says not necessary the morning pee.. i secretly tested.. I HAD TO.. i was dying to know, i can't wait another sleepless night..
PEE on the stick.. first it was --- and i thought.. okay hang on there.. i need to wait for the other column to appear a | to show that the test work perfectly fine... waited.. and | this appeared.. together with + .. yes a big fat POSITIVE ... i was jumping with joy!!! and i couldn't resist myself and jumped to my hubs and showed him the test! YAY!!!!!! but he wanted me to be sure, ask me to test in the morning again..
for the first time in 2 weeks.. i slept like a baby.. :)
Every morning i call out the day... Thursday! I said to myself ... the whole night I expect to see some blood... Woke up and check.. No signs of period yet! I thought should I wait till Friday .. at least to make sure i missed a day of period.. through my experience, i checked in the morning and it was negative and my period came late afternoon.. such a bummer.
So i did not check at all..... every now and then i went to the toilet to check if i had my period.. BUT NO.. still crystal clear. :P
Night came... and still no period.. i read a couple of articles says i can test anytime in the day, since i bought clearblue pregnancy test, it says not necessary the morning pee.. i secretly tested.. I HAD TO.. i was dying to know, i can't wait another sleepless night..
PEE on the stick.. first it was --- and i thought.. okay hang on there.. i need to wait for the other column to appear a | to show that the test work perfectly fine... waited.. and | this appeared.. together with + .. yes a big fat POSITIVE ... i was jumping with joy!!! and i couldn't resist myself and jumped to my hubs and showed him the test! YAY!!!!!! but he wanted me to be sure, ask me to test in the morning again..
for the first time in 2 weeks.. i slept like a baby.. :)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Post iui #1 day # 10
My ovaries have not stop hurting.. The pain is not throughout the day.. It just happen like how gastric is.. But it's both left and right side of my abdomen.
I'm not sure if this what the other women meant by cramping.. But it was definitely different from my day #1 of iui!
I'm trying not to think about it.. TRYING! I really wish I don't have to wait 14 days to pee on a stick!
Today is my first time feeling nausea from car rides.. Wasn't sure if it's because I was writing something in the car.. But this morning car ride I wasn't doing anything and my ovaries hurt like mad and I was feeling sick.
I really don't want to coax myself saying this are all early pregnancy symptoms until it's a confirm - Positive BFP!
I'm still deciding if I should test on Friday or Saturday. My period is supposed to be due on Thursday but with all the stress and medication am not sure if it will screw up the cycle..
While writing this my ovaries hurt! :(
5 more days to go!!
I'm not sure if this what the other women meant by cramping.. But it was definitely different from my day #1 of iui!
I'm trying not to think about it.. TRYING! I really wish I don't have to wait 14 days to pee on a stick!
Today is my first time feeling nausea from car rides.. Wasn't sure if it's because I was writing something in the car.. But this morning car ride I wasn't doing anything and my ovaries hurt like mad and I was feeling sick.
I really don't want to coax myself saying this are all early pregnancy symptoms until it's a confirm - Positive BFP!
I'm still deciding if I should test on Friday or Saturday. My period is supposed to be due on Thursday but with all the stress and medication am not sure if it will screw up the cycle..
While writing this my ovaries hurt! :(
5 more days to go!!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Post iui #1 day #7
I feel bloated most of the time and discomfort around my tummy. Not sure if I'm pee-ing extra compared to usual or am just drinking more...
Last night my ovaries hurt again.. Left and right side.. I wonder what's going on in there..
If only I have a scanner to see right through me and shout to the sperm! My egg is on the left side!!! Swim left!! Not right!!!
I read up yesterday sperms may swim up the wrong tube.. (eggless tube) and wait for the egg! And eventually die from waiting! They're not smart to u-turn and search for the egg! Omg! Stressing me out!!
And hubs said... His family has the worst sense on directions!!! So the swimmers might not find the egg!! :((
One Thursday passed- situation; still sane.
Next Thursday : can't promise if I'm gonna remain sane.
Last night my ovaries hurt again.. Left and right side.. I wonder what's going on in there..
If only I have a scanner to see right through me and shout to the sperm! My egg is on the left side!!! Swim left!! Not right!!!
I read up yesterday sperms may swim up the wrong tube.. (eggless tube) and wait for the egg! And eventually die from waiting! They're not smart to u-turn and search for the egg! Omg! Stressing me out!!
And hubs said... His family has the worst sense on directions!!! So the swimmers might not find the egg!! :((
One Thursday passed- situation; still sane.
Next Thursday : can't promise if I'm gonna remain sane.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Post iui #1 day #2
Headache!!!! Not sure if its just me or it's related iui!!
Don't dare to eat panadol.. So I just had to bare with the pain!
Went to sleep with all the feng Yao on my face, stomach, head.
Lucky me for Siang pure oil!
Don't dare to eat panadol.. So I just had to bare with the pain!
Went to sleep with all the feng Yao on my face, stomach, head.
Lucky me for Siang pure oil!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Post iui #1 day #1
Came home from my IUI bought some yummy malay rice by the street at Damansara heights, we really enjoyed lunch and will go back and buy again..
After lunch i was so tired and just knocked out! I had a really good nap..
Woke up and had a really Bad cramp.. Worst than my PMS cramps! I thought it was the street food that i ate! Went to the toilet and nothing came out! Empty!
I was so in pain... And yet i had to go the laundry that night for a friend's gig.. Was reluctant as i would need to smell all the smoke and could not smoke!
Came home about midnight, washed up and pee, and when i wiped after pee, my tissue had blood on it.. The color isnt the same as period's blood.. Its asthough i cut myself..
I panicked and GOOGLED! Thank god everyone after iui experienced some cramps and spotting! Phew! Nothing to worry about..
Do you think it was the DR. 's duty to inform me I might have this symptoms?
Hmmm...
After lunch i was so tired and just knocked out! I had a really good nap..
Woke up and had a really Bad cramp.. Worst than my PMS cramps! I thought it was the street food that i ate! Went to the toilet and nothing came out! Empty!
I was so in pain... And yet i had to go the laundry that night for a friend's gig.. Was reluctant as i would need to smell all the smoke and could not smoke!
Came home about midnight, washed up and pee, and when i wiped after pee, my tissue had blood on it.. The color isnt the same as period's blood.. Its asthough i cut myself..
I panicked and GOOGLED! Thank god everyone after iui experienced some cramps and spotting! Phew! Nothing to worry about..
Do you think it was the DR. 's duty to inform me I might have this symptoms?
Hmmm...
My iui #1 experience
Our sperm donor dropped off his healthy swimmers at 10ish am.. We woke up early... And went for breakfast, called Dr. P's office and they say come in at 11.30am-12pm... Previously I've read a few blogs and they mentioned that they need a full bladder, so I went there with my water bottle.. Drinking away.. But I know it wasn't enough.. The nurses told me not to drink so much.. They were afraid I'll be too full and need to release it out before the iui!
We waited about 30mins.. And they were extremely busy today.. So many couples coming in for their treatment, with their little blue bags, coming in for injections, and I saw a whole family there probably giving moral support to one of the lady.. She must be doing her Ivf today..
In my heart I was thinking today must be a good day!
About 12.35pm they called out my name, brought us to a tiny and long room the size of room is just enough for 2 stools, one bed, n one table.
The nurse showed us the washed sperm, its in a test tube, it's very little, only about 1cm in height.. She said they only pick the strongest and strengthen them.. Asked her how they strengthen and she couldn't give me a perfect answer..
Took off my undies and shorts, (should wear a dress, feel less naked) lie down and waiting patiently for Dr. P..
While waiting hubs ask me why do they have such a big ass torch in this room? Of course I don't know why!
Dr. P came in and did not waste any time. Asked have I seen the sperm, and told me this will only take about 5-10 mins. He open up a new speculum I presume, and put some lubricant on it and insert into my vagina! Was trying so hard not to tense up.. But it hurts.. After that he took a syringe with a long thin tube and suck the sperm up.. I hope he suck every sperm up! Then he proceed with his next step.. Next thing my hubs said was.. Oh she's using the torchlight now! It's to shine at my vagina so Dr. P has a clear VIEW of my pathway to the uterus!
Next thing Dr P asked is.. Xxx full bladder? Omg! Yes! Why??? Panic-KY me was freaking out.. Looking at the nurse who is now next to me.. I ask her if everything is ok?? I thought to myself.. I knew I should have drank more water.. It wasn't 100% full bladder but the nurse said as long as you have the urge to pee is enough cause it will eventually go down..
Anyway, the next thing I heard was like a cracking twisted sound, and it was painful.. It made me jerk a bit and it caused me to tear.. I was trying so hard not to cry.. But my tears just profusely dripped like a running tap..
Next thing I know.. It's done!! Still wiping my tears away! Doctor said okay! Almost got up and he told me to lay down for another 10 minutes.
Said to do the pregnancy test 2 Thursdays from now. (if only its 24 hr wait) and will give me some pills to strengthen my uterus.
That was it, my most expensive sex! That I didn't even enjoy.
Total cost for iui today RM980.
Total expenses for my iui, cashier says it's counted from my 2nd day of period.. Anything before it's not part of the treatment..
Rm180+RM180+RM980= RM1340
We waited about 30mins.. And they were extremely busy today.. So many couples coming in for their treatment, with their little blue bags, coming in for injections, and I saw a whole family there probably giving moral support to one of the lady.. She must be doing her Ivf today..
In my heart I was thinking today must be a good day!
About 12.35pm they called out my name, brought us to a tiny and long room the size of room is just enough for 2 stools, one bed, n one table.
The nurse showed us the washed sperm, its in a test tube, it's very little, only about 1cm in height.. She said they only pick the strongest and strengthen them.. Asked her how they strengthen and she couldn't give me a perfect answer..
Took off my undies and shorts, (should wear a dress, feel less naked) lie down and waiting patiently for Dr. P..
While waiting hubs ask me why do they have such a big ass torch in this room? Of course I don't know why!
Dr. P came in and did not waste any time. Asked have I seen the sperm, and told me this will only take about 5-10 mins. He open up a new speculum I presume, and put some lubricant on it and insert into my vagina! Was trying so hard not to tense up.. But it hurts.. After that he took a syringe with a long thin tube and suck the sperm up.. I hope he suck every sperm up! Then he proceed with his next step.. Next thing my hubs said was.. Oh she's using the torchlight now! It's to shine at my vagina so Dr. P has a clear VIEW of my pathway to the uterus!
Next thing Dr P asked is.. Xxx full bladder? Omg! Yes! Why??? Panic-KY me was freaking out.. Looking at the nurse who is now next to me.. I ask her if everything is ok?? I thought to myself.. I knew I should have drank more water.. It wasn't 100% full bladder but the nurse said as long as you have the urge to pee is enough cause it will eventually go down..
Anyway, the next thing I heard was like a cracking twisted sound, and it was painful.. It made me jerk a bit and it caused me to tear.. I was trying so hard not to cry.. But my tears just profusely dripped like a running tap..
Next thing I know.. It's done!! Still wiping my tears away! Doctor said okay! Almost got up and he told me to lay down for another 10 minutes.
Said to do the pregnancy test 2 Thursdays from now. (if only its 24 hr wait) and will give me some pills to strengthen my uterus.
That was it, my most expensive sex! That I didn't even enjoy.
Total cost for iui today RM980.
Total expenses for my iui, cashier says it's counted from my 2nd day of period.. Anything before it's not part of the treatment..
Rm180+RM180+RM980= RM1340
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I cant sleep!!
Omg! Its 3.20am and I have to be awake soon for my iui attempt no 1! So excited at first.. Then it must be the 4 glasses of green tea I drank that am so wide awake! Then my hubs have to tell me some upsetting news about my folks.. That got me all so worked up! Which is not the best time! Argh! And now he is happily sleeping and snoring !! And leaving me here not at my best emotion ... At this timing...
I need happy thoughts and a channel to channel this anger instead of going out and lighting a cancer stick!! Which again, is so damn difficult! :((
I just wanna cry my lungs out!!
I need happy thoughts and a channel to channel this anger instead of going out and lighting a cancer stick!! Which again, is so damn difficult! :((
I just wanna cry my lungs out!!
Only one egg!!
Today the clinic isn't as pack as usual.. I was running a bit late, so hubs dropped me off and he went to park. My name was called before hubs reach the clinic! That's how fast!
Dr P checked, did ultrasound.. Think today am a little bit more tense.. It was slightly painful.. He looked at the screen and said looks okay.. I saw nothing at all... And then he moved the ultrasound thingy around and told me.. Here's the egg... Never tell me if it's an okay size but looks big to me.. But only one egg!!! My reaction was only one??? So sad! He asked me how many do you want? Haha! You only need one egg to have a baby.. Whoops !
My bad, thought I needed more than one. But anyway he said something like the medication did not help me much or something.. I guess if I'm going for a 2nd iui he will give me some stronger dosage.
Next thing he asked me to do is.. Go pee on a stick.. Actually pee in a cup and see if am ovulating... If its positive I'm doing my iui#1 tomorrow.. If it's not he'll give me the hcg jap I think to force ovulate.. And my iui will be on Friday..
It's so difficult to pee under pressure let alone in a cup! it was a morning appointment so of course I let go my morning pee first thing I woke up.. I drank a few cups of water... Several cups.. Went to toilet.. Sat down and hum shhhh shhh to myself!! Few minutes later.. Nothing came out.. Went out drank lots of water again.. Told the nurses .. Nothing yet... Haha she told me just a little will do.. Showing me she need about one cm of pee.
Drank lots n lots of water.. Went to toilet and sat again few minutes later I had some droplets of yellow pee!!
Passed it to the nurse... No other patients was waiting to go in.. Lucky me. Straight away my name was called to go into Dr. P's room!
Yay its a positive! I save some money on the jap and no painful needles poking! Besides that, he made me felt I was already positive for a pregnancy test!!
Today's visit cost me Rm80 consultation, Rm80 ultrasound and Rm20 lab test total damage rm180!
Tomorrow she said we will be paying rm980 for iui!!
Oh I asked her why sometimes they charge consultation and why sometimes they don't? She said depends on doc! :)
Wish me luck tomorrow!!!
Dr P checked, did ultrasound.. Think today am a little bit more tense.. It was slightly painful.. He looked at the screen and said looks okay.. I saw nothing at all... And then he moved the ultrasound thingy around and told me.. Here's the egg... Never tell me if it's an okay size but looks big to me.. But only one egg!!! My reaction was only one??? So sad! He asked me how many do you want? Haha! You only need one egg to have a baby.. Whoops !
My bad, thought I needed more than one. But anyway he said something like the medication did not help me much or something.. I guess if I'm going for a 2nd iui he will give me some stronger dosage.
Next thing he asked me to do is.. Go pee on a stick.. Actually pee in a cup and see if am ovulating... If its positive I'm doing my iui#1 tomorrow.. If it's not he'll give me the hcg jap I think to force ovulate.. And my iui will be on Friday..
It's so difficult to pee under pressure let alone in a cup! it was a morning appointment so of course I let go my morning pee first thing I woke up.. I drank a few cups of water... Several cups.. Went to toilet.. Sat down and hum shhhh shhh to myself!! Few minutes later.. Nothing came out.. Went out drank lots of water again.. Told the nurses .. Nothing yet... Haha she told me just a little will do.. Showing me she need about one cm of pee.
Drank lots n lots of water.. Went to toilet and sat again few minutes later I had some droplets of yellow pee!!
Passed it to the nurse... No other patients was waiting to go in.. Lucky me. Straight away my name was called to go into Dr. P's room!
Yay its a positive! I save some money on the jap and no painful needles poking! Besides that, he made me felt I was already positive for a pregnancy test!!
Today's visit cost me Rm80 consultation, Rm80 ultrasound and Rm20 lab test total damage rm180!
Tomorrow she said we will be paying rm980 for iui!!
Oh I asked her why sometimes they charge consultation and why sometimes they don't? She said depends on doc! :)
Wish me luck tomorrow!!!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Side effects of tamoxifen
Just after I've blog that there's no side effects... I had the worst pain... Ever..
My ovaries feels like it's expanded, stomach feels bloated, my left and right side of stomach was excruciating pain!!
I was afraid I was ovulating.. The last time I had the hcg jap I felt something similar too, as though I can feel the eggs coming out...
So I'm hoping it's nothing like that when I see the doctor on Wednesday!
My ovaries feels like it's expanded, stomach feels bloated, my left and right side of stomach was excruciating pain!!
I was afraid I was ovulating.. The last time I had the hcg jap I felt something similar too, as though I can feel the eggs coming out...
So I'm hoping it's nothing like that when I see the doctor on Wednesday!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Pre IUI emotions.
I hope Dr. P's calculation is accurate.. today will be my last day on tamoxifen... it's RM20 a night. haha! I don't feel any side effects from it so far.. maybe a little bloated? But not too sure if that's from tamoxifen.. no new pimples on my face.. which is a good news for me. haha..
Will be going away for the weekend.. and be back in time for my 1045am appointment on Wednesday.. I'm kinda prepared to hear him say.. WHOOPS, you have ovulated! We try again next cycle!
But i hope it's not that.. anyway, no negative energy! I just need to be patient and NOT think about the whole Wed appointment..
Will be going away for the weekend.. and be back in time for my 1045am appointment on Wednesday.. I'm kinda prepared to hear him say.. WHOOPS, you have ovulated! We try again next cycle!
But i hope it's not that.. anyway, no negative energy! I just need to be patient and NOT think about the whole Wed appointment..
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Wishing upon a star...
I'm really wishing hard that it'll be successful on our first attempt on IUI #1
I've quit smoking when we were trying to conceive, but after the Big News, i started smoking again.. and this round, it seems tougher to quit.. But .. i have to. I'm staying away from my ciggie friends at the moment..
I read about acupuncture helping some girls to conceive, not sure if I'm too late to do such treatments! Probably am.. since we're going away this weekend and will only be back before my date with Dr P on Wednesday morning...
Advice given to me is to start drinking Ba Zhen soup after my period, and take 'home made' chicken essence.
Doctor always said because it's your first time, we won't be giving you medication, we don't want you to end up having twins or triplets! I hope he does not mean, there will be a second time! Our piggy bank might not survive the many attempts.
Fingers crossed! -
Star Light Star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.
I've quit smoking when we were trying to conceive, but after the Big News, i started smoking again.. and this round, it seems tougher to quit.. But .. i have to. I'm staying away from my ciggie friends at the moment..
I read about acupuncture helping some girls to conceive, not sure if I'm too late to do such treatments! Probably am.. since we're going away this weekend and will only be back before my date with Dr P on Wednesday morning...
Advice given to me is to start drinking Ba Zhen soup after my period, and take 'home made' chicken essence.
Doctor always said because it's your first time, we won't be giving you medication, we don't want you to end up having twins or triplets! I hope he does not mean, there will be a second time! Our piggy bank might not survive the many attempts.
Fingers crossed! -
Star Light Star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.
Monday, November 14, 2011
3rd day period
Appointment is at 12.15pm, arrived about 12pm. We were the 5th couple in queue ... 1pm our name was called! Yay!
Went in and....
:) doc just rub his ultra sound tool on my tummy and say everything looks good! No cyst!
Ok you're good and we'll see you next Wednesday! Rm80!!
We will give you some pills Nolvadex-D Tamoxifen 20mg to eat, take 2 every night rm100! for 10 tablets!
His time 5 minutes = lucky us, free consultation
Today's visit cost rm180!
While lady was helping me to get cleaned up and changed.. Doctor spoke to hubs and said... Your wife is very fertile! Woot woot!
My next appointment is on the 12th day! 23rd 10.45am!!! and if all okay, they will give me some injection and i will ovulate within 48hours, and that's when we will be doing the IUI! I SUPER SUPER HOPE, i get a BIG FAT POSITIVE on my first time!
Went in and....
:) doc just rub his ultra sound tool on my tummy and say everything looks good! No cyst!
Ok you're good and we'll see you next Wednesday! Rm80!!
We will give you some pills Nolvadex-D Tamoxifen 20mg to eat, take 2 every night rm100! for 10 tablets!
His time 5 minutes = lucky us, free consultation
Today's visit cost rm180!
While lady was helping me to get cleaned up and changed.. Doctor spoke to hubs and said... Your wife is very fertile! Woot woot!
My next appointment is on the 12th day! 23rd 10.45am!!! and if all okay, they will give me some injection and i will ovulate within 48hours, and that's when we will be doing the IUI! I SUPER SUPER HOPE, i get a BIG FAT POSITIVE on my first time!
My period has arrived!!
Have never been happier to see blood! Haha !! Yes i know, too much details.. hahaha!
Slept and woke up really early, wasn't sure what time does Dr P's office open.. But I tried my luck and called at 8.30am.
And my appointment with them for a check up is on Monday 12.15pm! Now I've to skip work again!
Yea-hoooo!
Slept and woke up really early, wasn't sure what time does Dr P's office open.. But I tried my luck and called at 8.30am.
And my appointment with them for a check up is on Monday 12.15pm! Now I've to skip work again!
Yea-hoooo!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Anxious!!
It's so funny! I'm counting the days to my period!
The lady said, call us when you have your period, so we can make an appointment for you on the 2nd or 3rd day of period.
:)
The lady said, call us when you have your period, so we can make an appointment for you on the 2nd or 3rd day of period.
:)
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
9/11/11 How much does it cost to freeze the sperms?
We went to the clinic, did not need to see Dr. P. Husband just needed to read the consent form, to sign why are we freezing the sperm. (ticked) the for back up plan of IUI treatment.
Next - CASHIER.. or based on her business card, Patient Liason Officer... On the 2nd of November, she said freezing of sperm is RM350, IF, sperm is good. So we didn't want to pay upfront just in case, sperm isn't good, why pay in advance? So she said it's okay we can wait till the results come in and pay later..
So that's why we're here today.. to pay the RM350.
But... She explained.. we have 5 tubes, and each IUI treatment only uses 1 tube, so we have additional 4 tubes.. to FREEZE it for a year it will cost us RM1350!!! I think my blood pressure just shot up. And i thought to myself.. WHAT IF, its a big fat positive, i don't need to freeze it for a year, but anyway, we can freeze it up to five years maximum, and each year will cost us RM1000.
Then.. we thought about it.. like in that few seconds, husband said........ can we just pay RM350 first to freeze, and after the treatment, we see what's the result, and decide if we want to continue freezing it or we might not need it etc etc.. She's nice enough to allow us to wait till December to give her a decision if we want to continue freezing it..
Anyway, I'm not sure if my 'sperm bank' is willing to give us sperm for free for as long as we need them. : P
Next - CASHIER.. or based on her business card, Patient Liason Officer... On the 2nd of November, she said freezing of sperm is RM350, IF, sperm is good. So we didn't want to pay upfront just in case, sperm isn't good, why pay in advance? So she said it's okay we can wait till the results come in and pay later..
So that's why we're here today.. to pay the RM350.
But... She explained.. we have 5 tubes, and each IUI treatment only uses 1 tube, so we have additional 4 tubes.. to FREEZE it for a year it will cost us RM1350!!! I think my blood pressure just shot up. And i thought to myself.. WHAT IF, its a big fat positive, i don't need to freeze it for a year, but anyway, we can freeze it up to five years maximum, and each year will cost us RM1000.
Then.. we thought about it.. like in that few seconds, husband said........ can we just pay RM350 first to freeze, and after the treatment, we see what's the result, and decide if we want to continue freezing it or we might not need it etc etc.. She's nice enough to allow us to wait till December to give her a decision if we want to continue freezing it..
Anyway, I'm not sure if my 'sperm bank' is willing to give us sperm for free for as long as we need them. : P
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
8/11/2001 - A phone call from the fertility centre
Throughout the week, i've been wanting to ask my brother in law when he is dropping off his swimmers.. But i really really don't wanna sound pushy and pressuring him... So i kept quiet...
On Monday... I received a call from my brother in law, he asked for the clinic's number. Was busy so i did not ask him much..
1 hour later I received a call from the clinic. Requesting my husband to go in tomorrow morning to pay for the freezing of sperm rm350 and to sign a letter of consent that the sperm belongs to us!!
And i had to ask, FREEZING OF SPERM?? does that mean my brother in law has dropped it off??? - yes. Oh.. How's the results?? - Good!
Yayyyyy!!!!! Best news I've heard this week! N it's only the beginning of the week!
On Monday... I received a call from my brother in law, he asked for the clinic's number. Was busy so i did not ask him much..
1 hour later I received a call from the clinic. Requesting my husband to go in tomorrow morning to pay for the freezing of sperm rm350 and to sign a letter of consent that the sperm belongs to us!!
And i had to ask, FREEZING OF SPERM?? does that mean my brother in law has dropped it off??? - yes. Oh.. How's the results?? - Good!
Yayyyyy!!!!! Best news I've heard this week! N it's only the beginning of the week!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
2/11/2011 - the date our IUI baby journey begins
1.15pm a trip to the clinic with our sperm donor. :) And my husband... Just imagine the people's eyes thinking what sort of relationship is this.. 2 man n a woman walked into a gynae fertility centre! Haha...
The doctor must be hungry today.. He wasn't as detailed as our first visit. We felt like we had more questions to ask after the visit.
Our rm80 visit was a very short visit. He spoke to b.i.l about the consequences. The logic, etc.
He agreed to donating a human tissue or cell to us and he is not donating a baby to us.
Doctor did some checks - vaginal ultra sound rm80 and saw that I've ovulated and left side and right side had some eggs (I forgot the amount) so he did not need to prescribe me any medication.
Just told me come again on your 7th or 8th day!!
I presume he means on my 7th day from my first day of period!
Sperm donor had to do some check up, semen sample, blood test, etc.. Rm130 ...
I don't want to pressure him and give me a date when he is going to drop it off.. But I'm just so excited.. Hoping it's all good news!
FINGERS CROSSED!
Publish Post
The doctor must be hungry today.. He wasn't as detailed as our first visit. We felt like we had more questions to ask after the visit.
Our rm80 visit was a very short visit. He spoke to b.i.l about the consequences. The logic, etc.
He agreed to donating a human tissue or cell to us and he is not donating a baby to us.
Doctor did some checks - vaginal ultra sound rm80 and saw that I've ovulated and left side and right side had some eggs (I forgot the amount) so he did not need to prescribe me any medication.
Just told me come again on your 7th or 8th day!!
I presume he means on my 7th day from my first day of period!
Sperm donor had to do some check up, semen sample, blood test, etc.. Rm130 ...
I don't want to pressure him and give me a date when he is going to drop it off.. But I'm just so excited.. Hoping it's all good news!
FINGERS CROSSED!
Publish Post
Monday, October 24, 2011
We finally agreed to continue our Baby Journey together..
After speaking to my friend, she gave me hope again. Hope to try all over again. I finally spoke to hubs about it and we both agreed to try again.. :) Discussed that we will do our IUI next year February.. and I don't think we can just walk in to the clinic and say.. DOCTOR, insert some SPERM into me NOW!
Anyway, that's not how it is.. so I called the clinic the next day, and thought i had to wait a week to get a slot, but Nooo.. in 2 days time we had a 1.15pm appointment with Dr. P! WOO HOO!
I can feel a certain glow in me.. like some inner energy has just started it's engine!
Anyway, that's not how it is.. so I called the clinic the next day, and thought i had to wait a week to get a slot, but Nooo.. in 2 days time we had a 1.15pm appointment with Dr. P! WOO HOO!
I can feel a certain glow in me.. like some inner energy has just started it's engine!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
someone showered me with magic Baby Dust
One night i visited a friend, who recently given birth to a healthy baby girl.. We spoke about baby topics, obviously. Baby gears, baby food, baby sleeping pattern, baby everything!!
And of course, i told myself not to share our infertility story to anybody else.. as it's hurtful.. but somehow towards the end of our night, i told her.. not in detail, but enough to let her know we are going through some difficulties.. Shared her my views of why i'm thinking of not having a kid..
And i'm glad i shared with her.. she explain to me her views and a relative who did not believe in marriage who recently passed away... she explain about her mother who has helped her through her pregnancy and with helping her taking care of her new born. She explain it's not easy, but it's true, they make it all worth while. It's happiness you can't buy.. It's also frustrating at times, she won't lie... but she said it's a gamble, which i kinda understood what she meant.. we can't predict the future, we will never know how the kid turn out to be, if they end up loving us in return. it all starts from the parents.. parenting is important.. and it's the roots that where it all begins..
And of course, i told myself not to share our infertility story to anybody else.. as it's hurtful.. but somehow towards the end of our night, i told her.. not in detail, but enough to let her know we are going through some difficulties.. Shared her my views of why i'm thinking of not having a kid..
And i'm glad i shared with her.. she explain to me her views and a relative who did not believe in marriage who recently passed away... she explain about her mother who has helped her through her pregnancy and with helping her taking care of her new born. She explain it's not easy, but it's true, they make it all worth while. It's happiness you can't buy.. It's also frustrating at times, she won't lie... but she said it's a gamble, which i kinda understood what she meant.. we can't predict the future, we will never know how the kid turn out to be, if they end up loving us in return. it all starts from the parents.. parenting is important.. and it's the roots that where it all begins..
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
realisation, sad, anger, envy, anger, sad..
I had mixed emotions... i had baby envy, i see friend's with babies, or feeling unfair or jealous people getting married because they got pregnant.... i used to like to play with kids or babies.. but some how.. i realised, i did not want to any more.. the baby cry if i want to carry them.. i felt rejected.. it made me feel sad..
i don't know how to explain my feelings. but i was sad and angry at the same time.
i don't know how to explain my feelings. but i was sad and angry at the same time.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
time will heal
Everything happen too sudden too quickly. But nobody is ready for bad news. We were never prepared for such news.
My hubs felt pressured by me for giving him an answer.. maybe because we were so ready to have a child and have been trying to conceive for almost a year, and then the test results came in etc.. my goal hasn't change well at least not yet... i was still determine to have a kid.. but i did not realised one thing.. my hubs feelings, he was devastated, and couldn't believe this has happened to him.. he needed time to digest.. and i wasn't making him feeling any better..
After that, i understood, and we went for a break.. to clear our heads.. no more TTC..
one month after next.. my determination of having a kid.. eventually.. made my right side of the brain think too much..
i started thinking of being CHILDFREE. yes, not CHILDLESS, but CHILDFREE! a decision we decide, raising one child will suck your savings dry, if you decide to have 3 kids, you are working everyday just to survive and put food on the table, but if we decide not to have any kids.. we can use that money to travel the world and do anything we want..
I had this calculation.. if you have a kid, you spend your next 30 years working to raise them.. and once they're old enough to build their own nest.. you're too old to see the world or broke to do anything.. But.. if you don't have a kid... the next 30 years, you can travel, you can buy things for yourself etc etc etc... you'll have your own freedom.
i had so many negative thoughts if we decide to have a kid.. after spending all your time and money on them.. once you're old, they might not even want to have anything to do with you, they think you're a burden, they have their own family, they complain and hate you.. urgh..
of course, this was just me, hubs still wanna have kids... but i wasn't sure any more.
My hubs felt pressured by me for giving him an answer.. maybe because we were so ready to have a child and have been trying to conceive for almost a year, and then the test results came in etc.. my goal hasn't change well at least not yet... i was still determine to have a kid.. but i did not realised one thing.. my hubs feelings, he was devastated, and couldn't believe this has happened to him.. he needed time to digest.. and i wasn't making him feeling any better..
After that, i understood, and we went for a break.. to clear our heads.. no more TTC..
one month after next.. my determination of having a kid.. eventually.. made my right side of the brain think too much..
i started thinking of being CHILDFREE. yes, not CHILDLESS, but CHILDFREE! a decision we decide, raising one child will suck your savings dry, if you decide to have 3 kids, you are working everyday just to survive and put food on the table, but if we decide not to have any kids.. we can use that money to travel the world and do anything we want..
I had this calculation.. if you have a kid, you spend your next 30 years working to raise them.. and once they're old enough to build their own nest.. you're too old to see the world or broke to do anything.. But.. if you don't have a kid... the next 30 years, you can travel, you can buy things for yourself etc etc etc... you'll have your own freedom.
i had so many negative thoughts if we decide to have a kid.. after spending all your time and money on them.. once you're old, they might not even want to have anything to do with you, they think you're a burden, they have their own family, they complain and hate you.. urgh..
of course, this was just me, hubs still wanna have kids... but i wasn't sure any more.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
A visit to Dr P's office
We were introduced to a very reputable doctor also known as the IVF king in Malaysia located at Damansara Heights.
Called to make an appointment.. Next available date was 1 week later..
Was so excited to see a 2nd opinion.. Anxious, counting the days to the appointment date...
The clinic is very nice and clean and has lots of successful Ivf baby stories and photos.
When it was our turn.. Walked into the office to finally see Dr. P. There's a lady next to him.. Maybe a nurse or assistant? Which I'm not sure why she's there as we are going to share our personal matters.. But I guessed she must be his witness? If anything does go wrong...
Showed him all our results, pap smear, blood test, sperm count.. We didn't have to say anything.. Just showed him and let the papers do the talking..
So he talked about options, and said he wants to do some checks on hubs, (check check and touch touch) (i think)
option 1, is to do a biopsy on hub's testicle, which is RM3500 to find any sperm available in there.. If yes, he will take it and freeze it, and prepare me for IVF- or in our case it will be ICSI. which cost slightly more than IVF.. think it's almost RM20,000..
Option 2 is to get a sperm donor, we can get an unknown sperm donor from their little sperm bank that they have. They would match it with a fair chinese with same blood type of my hubs. OR someone we know wants to donate some sperm. :P And we can do an IUI which cost about RM2000
Instantly i knew i wanted to pick Option 2, because we practically don't have RM20,000 over PLUS PLUS to try on an ICSI and Biopsy which is not 100% guaranteed ... and will be broke before we have a child.. and raising a kid is never cheap.
1st time consultation at Dr P's was RM100- (park at his building, you get an hour free ticket)
Called to make an appointment.. Next available date was 1 week later..
Was so excited to see a 2nd opinion.. Anxious, counting the days to the appointment date...
The clinic is very nice and clean and has lots of successful Ivf baby stories and photos.
When it was our turn.. Walked into the office to finally see Dr. P. There's a lady next to him.. Maybe a nurse or assistant? Which I'm not sure why she's there as we are going to share our personal matters.. But I guessed she must be his witness? If anything does go wrong...
Showed him all our results, pap smear, blood test, sperm count.. We didn't have to say anything.. Just showed him and let the papers do the talking..
So he talked about options, and said he wants to do some checks on hubs, (check check and touch touch) (i think)
option 1, is to do a biopsy on hub's testicle, which is RM3500 to find any sperm available in there.. If yes, he will take it and freeze it, and prepare me for IVF- or in our case it will be ICSI. which cost slightly more than IVF.. think it's almost RM20,000..
Option 2 is to get a sperm donor, we can get an unknown sperm donor from their little sperm bank that they have. They would match it with a fair chinese with same blood type of my hubs. OR someone we know wants to donate some sperm. :P And we can do an IUI which cost about RM2000
Instantly i knew i wanted to pick Option 2, because we practically don't have RM20,000 over PLUS PLUS to try on an ICSI and Biopsy which is not 100% guaranteed ... and will be broke before we have a child.. and raising a kid is never cheap.
1st time consultation at Dr P's was RM100- (park at his building, you get an hour free ticket)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
To tell or not to tell??
Should you share your infertility with your friends or family?
We were having a difficult time.. If we should share this news to our family.. It's like a bump in our head for days...
first hubs shared with his brother, first thing he thought was the wife that has issues conceiving ... People never think it's the man always think it's the woman.. And that's because man hardly share and tell the world their problem..
Brother had a hard time believing.. Said our family has strong swimmers! Are you sure?? So from there onwards hubs has someone to confide to.
Next we told his mom, her reaction wasn't something we expected... It seems as though she wasn't surprised at all... Like just -oh-okay-..... And .......
I was upset and disappointed at her reaction.. But hubs said.. Actually what do we expect them to say or do?? Which made me thought about it ... And knew I didn't need to share this with any more people...
At the end of the day... We hurt ourselves more by putting us out there in people's eyes and thoughts.
I did not share the truth with my parents. and I'm glad I made that decision..
We were having a difficult time.. If we should share this news to our family.. It's like a bump in our head for days...
first hubs shared with his brother, first thing he thought was the wife that has issues conceiving ... People never think it's the man always think it's the woman.. And that's because man hardly share and tell the world their problem..
Brother had a hard time believing.. Said our family has strong swimmers! Are you sure?? So from there onwards hubs has someone to confide to.
Next we told his mom, her reaction wasn't something we expected... It seems as though she wasn't surprised at all... Like just -oh-okay-..... And .......
I was upset and disappointed at her reaction.. But hubs said.. Actually what do we expect them to say or do?? Which made me thought about it ... And knew I didn't need to share this with any more people...
At the end of the day... We hurt ourselves more by putting us out there in people's eyes and thoughts.
I did not share the truth with my parents. and I'm glad I made that decision..
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Our dreams of having Jrs crushed!
You cannot imagine how we felt after knowing what we know...
He was devastated. Never knew that such things will happen to him. Never thought he is shooting blanks!
He couldn't talk to any of his male friends as we were afraid it turn into a joke for the boys..
I wasn't sure if I should tell any of my friends.. Seriously google has helped me at this stage of our life.. I googled every single thing.. What is azoospermia, what can we do? Should I tell my friends? Etc. You can really find all the answers on the Internet.
Because of that we too wanted to share our experience and hoping to share with others like us. And to know they're not alone. That somewhere out there someone is going through the same situation and understand how it feels.
So I told my closest friends what we've been going through... And it's not easy.. As everyone have a different opinion... I thought that if I share my sorrow they can sympathized us and be our support.. So I stopped sharing.. The truth is.. The lesser the people know the better..
Not everybody will agree your decision.. Some says BE childless! It's god's will! Some says just keep on trying miracle does happen! Of course there are some who listen and hugs and just be there emotionally..
Be prepared. Don't expect an answer YOU want to hear. If you do, it's better to keep it between you and your husband.
He was devastated. Never knew that such things will happen to him. Never thought he is shooting blanks!
He couldn't talk to any of his male friends as we were afraid it turn into a joke for the boys..
I wasn't sure if I should tell any of my friends.. Seriously google has helped me at this stage of our life.. I googled every single thing.. What is azoospermia, what can we do? Should I tell my friends? Etc. You can really find all the answers on the Internet.
Because of that we too wanted to share our experience and hoping to share with others like us. And to know they're not alone. That somewhere out there someone is going through the same situation and understand how it feels.
So I told my closest friends what we've been going through... And it's not easy.. As everyone have a different opinion... I thought that if I share my sorrow they can sympathized us and be our support.. So I stopped sharing.. The truth is.. The lesser the people know the better..
Not everybody will agree your decision.. Some says BE childless! It's god's will! Some says just keep on trying miracle does happen! Of course there are some who listen and hugs and just be there emotionally..
Be prepared. Don't expect an answer YOU want to hear. If you do, it's better to keep it between you and your husband.
Friday, June 10, 2011
The nightmare begins..
He did a blood test, there is still hope the doctor said. We hope it's not the factory that stops producing and it's just a road block and it's not allowing any swimmers to swim through..
Blood test. Results.
Called nurse. She said.. It's best I transfer you to the doctor... Dr yap said am sorry... I think it's best I schedule an appointment with the urologist for your husband..
Next week or so.. We're back at the clinic... Wasn't a pleasant trip to the doctors I must say..
Doctor was straight forward and blunt! Explained to us or more like.. asking us questions like we're a med student who supposed to know what's written on the results..
Basically, hubs think he wants us to give ourselves the bad news.
The factory has been bombed out. Those was the exact words from him. BOMBED. FINISHED. KAPUT. They are sending messages to the factory to produce more swimmers, but the factory isn't responding.
Doctor did give us some answers to my hubs life, why he is obese, why is it so difficult to have facial hair, why no armpit hair, why he is easily demotivated, and also why his testicles is not a regular size...etc etc etc.. it's because his body is lack of MAN hormones.. Hubs can go for some regular japs to get him some hair, but it won't help him produce any sperm.
Oh, we kinda found out why his factory has been bomb out. It's because when he was a teenager he had mumps ! and mumps is so dangerous, it does not just give you a swollen face, but it can bomb out your testicles! Yes, byebye swimmers. :~(
SO be careful, don't just write a 'tiger' on your kids face! see a doctor before it's too late!
Blood test. Results.
Called nurse. She said.. It's best I transfer you to the doctor... Dr yap said am sorry... I think it's best I schedule an appointment with the urologist for your husband..
Next week or so.. We're back at the clinic... Wasn't a pleasant trip to the doctors I must say..
Doctor was straight forward and blunt! Explained to us or more like.. asking us questions like we're a med student who supposed to know what's written on the results..
Basically, hubs think he wants us to give ourselves the bad news.
The factory has been bombed out. Those was the exact words from him. BOMBED. FINISHED. KAPUT. They are sending messages to the factory to produce more swimmers, but the factory isn't responding.
Doctor did give us some answers to my hubs life, why he is obese, why is it so difficult to have facial hair, why no armpit hair, why he is easily demotivated, and also why his testicles is not a regular size...etc etc etc.. it's because his body is lack of MAN hormones.. Hubs can go for some regular japs to get him some hair, but it won't help him produce any sperm.
Oh, we kinda found out why his factory has been bomb out. It's because when he was a teenager he had mumps ! and mumps is so dangerous, it does not just give you a swollen face, but it can bomb out your testicles! Yes, byebye swimmers. :~(
SO be careful, don't just write a 'tiger' on your kids face! see a doctor before it's too late!
Monday, June 6, 2011
June 2011, It started when we...
we went for a regular check up at the Sime Darby Megah Specialist, googled their site, and picked my doctor based on their photos! :) hehe.. to see if they look friendly to me. That's how i picked Dr. MJ Yap..
Walked in, and she asked, Yes, what's wrong, or was it Yes, how can i help you? So all i said was, we're trying to conceive and I wanna do a regular check.. So that's how she did a pap smear.. and asked my hubs to do a sample test. Oh, and she checked, and i was going to ovulate, agreed on a jap, and said it's to assist my body with ovulating, and said Good Luck, have plenty of Sex this weekend!
After a week or so, i seriously thought i was pregnant, i had all the pregnancy symptoms... well, i thought i had..
i got a called from the clinic to say that my papsmear results was fine.. But, they said, you need to come in for your hubs results..
I went to the clinic and she told me the news, i didn't think it was so serious.. or i wasn't thinking at all.. or i never have thought this is gonna happen to us.. She showed me the results.. and explained.. and .. i asked, so is it bad swimmers? No. is it no tail/lazy/abnormal swimmers? No. She said There are NO swimmers, circled the ZERO on the results, and tell me there is NONE. ZERO! and honestly, i was Laughing. LAUGHING OUT LOUD! She must have thought i went Bonkers!!
And i said ARE YOU SERIOUS, and i guess i'm not pregnant then.. :(
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